Watch out, I'm a Punjabi!

Do not be surprised, for this event is from the PMO bus too.

It was yesterday when I was getting back from university. Anyone who has had any experience with a semi-military facility will know the hard-core entrance procedure. The requirement is thus: if you're a non-resident, you're supposed to make a call at the main gate to inform your host about your arrival, and then deposit your ID card till departure.

A lot of guests do not make that call, and boy! does it delay the bus every day!

Yesterday was no exception.

There was a Punjabi 'jat' [ جٹ ]-type lady at the back. The guard asked her to show her card and she stood up, completely blocking the aisle. She had a large gold nose-pin of the style preferred by rural women, her 'dupatta' thrown over carelessly and giving the picture of the real 'desi' woman. Milk and it's associated products are loved by villagers in Pakistan. Especially 'desi ghee'. And they feel proud to mention the amount they consume a day!

Even though the trend across the world has changed toward slimness, not in the 'gaaon/pind' [ گاؤں / پنڈ]!

Getting back to the lady. After she had stood up, she placed both hands on hips.
The guard was one burly fellow too with moustaches so long they seemed to get into his mouth every time he spoke. Dressed in the green soldier’s uniform he crossed his arms across the chest and braced for a fight. One Punabi pitted against the other.

And so began their diatribe. I'll write it in Punjabi first for those who can understand, and then in English [though sadly, the translation will remove some of the funny essence from the dialogue]

:خالہ 

 !اوے

!مینڈا پرآ اتھے  ڈریور  اے  اور الله ناں شکر اے  کھاندے پیندے کار تو اے

 ! ہینرڑ مینڈے نال پنج بچے ,ماں بس توں توں نہیں لا  سکنا 

:گارڈ 

! خالہ ، تساں  اترنا  ای  پیسی ، اے ہی اصول  اے

:خالہ 

چنگے او  تسی لوگ وی ، عورتاں  ناں کوئی لحاظ  ای  نہیں ! مینڈ ے  کول  فون  اے ، میں  ہونڑے  ملانی  آں  کال ! پتہ  لگ  ویسی  آ

:گارڈ 

.نہیں  خالہ ، ایجوں  کم  نہیں  بنڑنا ، اترنا  تی پیسی . بچی  آں  ہی  پیج  چھوڑو

:خالہ 

!ایڈا  توں ******! چلو  بچو ، اترو  تھلے ! دسںے  آں  انناں ہونڑ 

Lady: 'Oi, you cannot get me off the bus! My brother is the driver here and is from a well-to-do family by the grace of God. And I've *emphasis* 5 children, who are you to ask me to confirm?'

Guard: 'But Miss, you have to. It's standard procedure!'

Lady: 'Right, then I have a phone with me. I'll call him and he'll tell you. No shame at all, asking women to get down!'

Guard: 'Miss, I'm sorry, but I can't. According to procedure you HAVE to get down and call from the booth.'

Lady: 'You *beep*, have you NO shame? Fine, *beep*. (calling all her children) Get up, and come down now! We'll show them what they asked for!'

She almost hit the guard in the chest and got down with her brood she was so proud of. One would have thought they were something like her too, but they were timid as hell. They just looked at their feet, shuffled nervously and began to get down.

Lady: 'Oi you, *beeps* get down FAST! Stop acting like cowards and be like MEN!'

! چودھری لے  بھی  پوؤ ، مڑد  بنڑ  کے  دسسو ، اسی  وی  چودھری  آں 

I could hear her shouting even once inside the booth.

Watch out, I'm a Punjabi, she seemed to say.

The scene was hilarious, really! 

Interviewing, haha!

Today was my first 'proper' experience interviewing students. It was for the SIEP, our department's native technical society.

I was a little apprehensive at first but soon transitioned into an interviewer proper. I had only a vague idea of what to ask. I was sceptical about the level of the questions I would ask since my technical knowledge as yet is quite lagging in phase to the senior students'.

Still, I braced. It was completely impromptu and I surprised myself with smoothly getting into the flow of talk! I asked Q's I thought were relevant. All of us in the panel of five were slightly apprehensive at the start, and each of us somehow asked only from a particular domain in the beginning. But after a few candidates were done with, the atmosphere changed visibly. We became more comfortable and began to pick up each other's points. For instance, one would start asking about the function of the stabilizer, and the others would begin the process of cross-questioning and somewhere in between, a new topic would pop up.

There were some funny incidents too. There was a guy who jay-walked in, literally; hands in pockets, shabby jeans, jiggle in the walk. Yeah, I'm an engineer. Right.

We asked him about the methods used for circuit analysis and he receded somewhere deep within as if on a spiritual quest. 'Umm, there's Thevenin, we just did Norton, I guess? Oh yeah, and there's mesh analysis too!’ Amid his talking we spotted the chewing gum in his mouth. It became visible at an odd angle and God!did we have a long laugh afterward!

Then there was another guy who didn't even know what the society stood for proper, and was like, 'Yeah, choose me. I'll see later what I can do'. 'Hmm, so can you pin-point a talent for which you should be preferred?' 'I don't know, is this the kind of stuff you ask?' I mean, :|

He was acting like he was doing someone a favour just showing up!

Today I learnt that keeping some things spontaneous without prior preparation has a charm all its own. And I cannot emphasize enough the unique beauty of the experience of a group-talk. And a little sheepishly, of confusing the person in front with rapid questioning!

Perhaps we haven't yet outgrown our ancestors' affinity for story-telling after all.

Kaleidoscope of Life

Life - sometimes so beautiful in its bitterness.

There are times of extreme mental clarity; then there are times you feel your senses clouded. Some days are good, but some are at the opposite end of the scale. There are times when you feel elated, feel like you're the world and it is you, one with each other. You feel at perfect harmony with everything around, at one with 'life'. You could jump just for the sake of joy, and laugh at the top of your voice, a free spirit on the horizon. Then there are times nothing can be darker than your own consciousness. It becomes a burden, and what wouldn't you give up to silence it for some time, drug it, numb it, whatever it takes to get a 'blackout' in the head. The very act of staying alive, making it to another day, seems like a pain.

But the element common to all these experiences is 'variety'. Life is spontaneous, and not just from Darwin's perspective. Happiness exists only till there is relativism and contrast. Absolute happiness is nothing.

I spotted an orange wasp on the windowsill in the bus today while coming back home. My first response was of course one of fear and caution since those wasps are known to have a highly painful sting!

 I kept a close eye on it. It would fly up a little toward the top of the window but the next jolt by the bus would bring it back down. I wished constantly for it to just go away so I could relax in my seat and enjoy the view of the Margalla Hills outside, which I love gazing at despite passing by every day! Amidst this, I suddenly became imbued with the wasp. I began to notice details of its anatomy; how it moved its tiny but muscular legs in their 'small' way, how it scratched what I can only assume was some equivalent of a nose with its, again, assumed foot; how it had black eyes that were on the oval side, and throughout it all, it's determination to get to the window's head. There was immense beauty in its every move and God truly has created works of art for us to see. Even in the most prosaic of beings.

In this strange mode, I noticed beauty while fear and disgust were parallel with the emotions. It's strange how something so troublesome can have such a different side to it too.

Then there are feelings which pull us in opposite directions and make it seem like they will tear us apart, shatter our very consciousness. And the trigger doesn't have to be anything more than a single word, a glance, a fleeting thought. It is at times like these that we feel the extremes of all emotions at once, and the ensuing result is nothing but total confusion. There's beauty, feeling, thought, parallel with hatred, sadness, confusion, wish, hope, darkness.

Such is the kaleidoscope of life.