Kaleidoscope of Life

Life - sometimes so beautiful in its bitterness.

There are times of extreme mental clarity; then there are times you feel your senses clouded. Some days are good, but some are at the opposite end of the scale. There are times when you feel elated, feel like you're the world and it is you, one with each other. You feel at perfect harmony with everything around, at one with 'life'. You could jump just for the sake of joy, and laugh at the top of your voice, a free spirit on the horizon. Then there are times nothing can be darker than your own consciousness. It becomes a burden, and what wouldn't you give up to silence it for some time, drug it, numb it, whatever it takes to get a 'blackout' in the head. The very act of staying alive, making it to another day, seems like a pain.

But the element common to all these experiences is 'variety'. Life is spontaneous, and not just from Darwin's perspective. Happiness exists only till there is relativism and contrast. Absolute happiness is nothing.

I spotted an orange wasp on the windowsill in the bus today while coming back home. My first response was of course one of fear and caution since those wasps are known to have a highly painful sting!

 I kept a close eye on it. It would fly up a little toward the top of the window but the next jolt by the bus would bring it back down. I wished constantly for it to just go away so I could relax in my seat and enjoy the view of the Margalla Hills outside, which I love gazing at despite passing by every day! Amidst this, I suddenly became imbued with the wasp. I began to notice details of its anatomy; how it moved its tiny but muscular legs in their 'small' way, how it scratched what I can only assume was some equivalent of a nose with its, again, assumed foot; how it had black eyes that were on the oval side, and throughout it all, it's determination to get to the window's head. There was immense beauty in its every move and God truly has created works of art for us to see. Even in the most prosaic of beings.

In this strange mode, I noticed beauty while fear and disgust were parallel with the emotions. It's strange how something so troublesome can have such a different side to it too.

Then there are feelings which pull us in opposite directions and make it seem like they will tear us apart, shatter our very consciousness. And the trigger doesn't have to be anything more than a single word, a glance, a fleeting thought. It is at times like these that we feel the extremes of all emotions at once, and the ensuing result is nothing but total confusion. There's beauty, feeling, thought, parallel with hatred, sadness, confusion, wish, hope, darkness.

Such is the kaleidoscope of life.