Mirror, Mirror on the Wall!

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of all?'

I'm sure all of your remember this from Snow White. Maybe even ask yourself the same question every morning. And answer it with 'I'.

But have you ever felt like you didn't know the person you were looking at in the mirror even when it was just you in front of it? That uncanny feeling of looking at a shadow version of yourself, an alter ego? Like as if you were staring right into the eyes of someone else you didn't remotely know?

And it's always the eyes.

Zoom in and you begin to read thoughts in the head of the 'person' looking into the mirror, not quite you. Ideas, thoughts, feelings, anger, sorrow and all those things you had locked away in that secret box in your mind meant to store things to be untouched come up. All of a sudden they pounce on you all together and leave you breathless. Is this me, really? What have I become? This is surely the unME, isn't it? How can this mean selfish self be ME?

Then you begin to notice the contour of the eyes, the color of your irises. You lean closer and stare into the retina. And begin to think subjectively like an external observer. Forgetting it's 'you' you're looking at. The 'me'.

Then comes the mouth. You begin to notice the laugh lines around it. How the creases form when you smile. How your teeth show just a little as if playing hide-and-seek. How your mouth dulls in unison with your eyes when you feel sad. And yes, you are feeling sad, you realize all of a sudden. And you know the reason for that pretty well.

You look into the mirror again and the force of the reason hits you hard, real hard. You are thrown off balance. No, brain, how can you do this to me? Just when I was stowing away the reason into that secret box, how can you open its very lid? Reflection, why are you doing this to me?

But the mirror-you just stares back and you hear it laughing in your mind.

Then you collapse onto your knees. The genie is out of the box. There is no hiding now.
And then you weep some.